Samoa Cupcakes

Samoa, coconut dreams, whatever the hell they’re called, they’re arguably one of the most delicious Girl’s Scout Cookies of all time, unless you’re an evil bitch and hate coconut, chocolate, or caramel, in which case, go step in front of a bus. Since I had already prepared one dessert inspired by Girl’s Scout Cookies before, I figured I would re-introduce another one that I had made a long, long, LOOOOONG time ago. We’re talking back when Cupcakes Wars was still a prevalent show on the Food Network that didn’t involve annoying celebrities competing.

When I originally made this cupcake, I did a brown sugar cake, dulce de leche filling, ganache, and coconut. For this rendition, I am taking it a step further, and preparing a coconut shortcake crumb that I’m baking into the bottom of the cake. Additionally, I am making the caramel using coconut milk, just to make this entire dessert vegan, because why the hell not? If we are featuring coconut, chocolate, and caramel, why not use the ingredients to their fullest potential?

For the shortbread:
1/3 cup flour
2 1/2 tablespoons granulated sugar
2 tablespoons coconut oil
a pinch of salt
1/8 teaspoon baking powder

Combine ingredients and roll into balls. Bake at 350 degrees F for 10 minutes. Or you can just bake it as one giant sheet, but breaking it apart will take a helluva lot longer. Make sure that these are completely cooled before using them in the cake.

For the cake batter:
1 1/2 cups flour
3/4 cups dark brown sugar
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
1 cup coconut milk
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 cup coconut oil; melted
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
a pinch of salt

Combine together ingredients. Line a 12-tin cupcake tray (with preferably purple liners to reference the color of the box these cookies come in, but whatever the hell you want or have, really), and add in about 1 1/2 tablespoons of the crumble first. Pour the batter over the crumble, filling each cup up to 90% fullness (you’d normally go for 75%, but since you have the crumble on the bottom, that adds to the volume of shit in the cups already), and bake at 350 degrees F for 20 minutes. Cool completely.

For the caramel:
1/3 cup sugar
1/4 cup water
2 tablespoons powdered coconut milk
3 tablespoons coconut milk
1 tablespoon coconut oil
1 teaspoon salt

Bring salt, water, and sugar to a rolling boil, and once the sugar turns brown, add in the coconut milk and stir off-heat. You’re looking for an amber, almost chocolate-like color, or bien cuit, so that you have a deeply complex caramel. Not just that cheap shit you pour on your froyo at YogurtLand. out of a bottle. Return to heat once all of the sugar has been melted into the liquid and continue to cook on low heat until the mixture is luscious and gooey. Take off heat, finish with the coconut milk powder and the oil, and transfer to a bowl. Do not refrigerate this, because it will solidify and it will be infinitely harder to transfer into a cupcake in that state.


For the ganache:
1/4 cup chocolate chips
3 tablespoons coconut milk
1 tablespoon coconut oil
a pinch of salt

Combine and melt.


For the toasted coconut:
1 cup coconut flakes

Bake at 350 degrees F for 10 minutes. If you have leftover coconut crumbles, break them up finely and toss them into the flakes as well.

For assembly:
Core out the cupcakes, fill with caramel, and if you want, you can put the cored parts back over them. I prefer to, because dipping them in ganache becomes 50% less of a gross, oozy mess, but that’s just me. Dip them in ganache, or spoon the ganache onto the cakes, whatever the fuck you want to do, because you are a strong, independent baker and you don’t need no man telling you how you make your cupcakes, and cover with the coconut flakes.


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