What? Just because I bake and I make spongecakes doesn’t mean I can’t make a delicious steak dish. This particular dish, I actually made two years ago, to celebrate finishing summer school. The entire dish was a coffee crusted ribeye with mushroom jus, kale chips, garlic rubbed bone marrow, and mac n’ cheese. And yes, the pasta in the mac n’ cheese is homemade orecchiette. I almost always make my own pasta because it provides me with an arm workout for the day. What? Were you expecting me to be one of those snobs who says that boxed pasta is beneath me? Because, bitch, sometimes, I crave Frito crusted Kraft’s macaroni and cheese with a root beer float. I’m actually serious, and that probably destroys a lot of my culinary credibility, but sue me. I’m a human being who was raised in a sheltered, trashy suburb in California. Coconut flavored things and vegan desserts were considered too exotic for most of my ignorant af classmates. Insert eyeroll here.

For the ribeye rub:
1/2 cup coffee grinds
1/2 tablespoon paprika powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground pepper

This should be enough rub for up to two steaks.

For the steaks:
Ribeye + rub
oil

Preheat an oven to 400 degrees F. Line an oven-proof pan (so metal handle, no plastic anywhere) with oil and bring up to medium high heat. Sear the steaks on both sides, 3 minutes on one, 2 minutes on the other, and on the side that was only on for 2 minutes, bake for another 5 minutes. Rest for another 3 minutes before you slice the steaks.

For the bone marrow
beef bone marrow
garlic
salt
oil
micro herbs for garnish

Drizzle oil and crushed garlic together and rub the bone marrow with both. Sprinkle on salt and bake at 400 degrees F for 15 minutes on a shallow baking tray. Reserve any rendered fat for the jus.

Mushroom jus:
1 cup chopped button mushrooms
1/4 cup minced onion
rendered bone marrow fat
1/2 cup beef stock
a pinch of salt

Sweat out the onion in the marrow fat. Add in the mushrooms and salt and allow to cook down together, stirring occasionally, for about 3 minutes on medium-high heat. Add in the stock and reduce further, until it forms a thick, unctuous sauce.

For mac n’ cheese
1/4 cup parmesan cheese
1/4 cup fontina cheese
1/4 cup cheddar cheese
1 tablespoon butter
1 tablespoon flour
1 cup milk
a pinch of salt
a pinch of nutmeg
a pinch of black pepper
pasta*

Grate the cheeses. Melt down the butter and flour together. Add in the milk, then add in the cheese. Season and finish with the pasta. If desired, you can then place the pasta into individual servings, and bake at 400 degrees F until the tops start to caramelize, which would be about 5 minutes, but I was too hangry when I made this recipe, so I just said “to hell with that crispy, golden goodness, I want food!” and decided not to. Whoops.

Pasta:
1 egg
2/3 cups flour + more
a pinch of salt

Combine flour and egg and knead together to form a dough. Dust with flour if it gets too wet. Knead the hell out of the dough until it is elastic and firm, adding more flour if necessary. If the dough becomes too dry, then give up, be a loser, and tell all of your friends about how it personally victimized you. I’m joking. Just add a tiny bit of water into the dough and knead that in. You want it to resemble playdough in terms of texture. Roll out the pasta into logs, cut it into 1/4 inch by 1/4 inch cubes, and press them with your thumb, in the center, to flatten them into the orecchiette shape. Google image it if you need a reference. I was too lazy/hangry to take photos. Dust with flour until you’re ready to cook the pasta.

For cooking the pasta, bring salted water to a boil and boil for 5 minutes. Then strain and add into the sauce. Depending on the shape, the pasta will take different times to cook, but orecchiette takes the longest out of any fresh pasta, because of how compact it’s size is. That being said, it’s still the best pasta shape for mac n’ cheese, besides elbow pasta.

Kale chips:
1 cup kale, chopped into large pieces, with the stem remove
1 tablespoon olive oil
a pinch of salt

Toss together ingredients, lay onto a parchment sheet, and bake at 400 degrees F for 7-8 minutes.